Why do Certain Unhealthy Patterns in my Life Persist?

Patterns of behavior and beliefs persist through reinforcement. When I believe something to be true of myself or the world, I look for evidence of it on the outside. Through this process, I solidify that reality for me. This is how we make sense of our world. When a pattern’s been reinforced over the years and even generations, it becomes an energy field that influences our thoughts and actions leaving us feeling disempowered.

It’s important to remember that we won’t tend to reinforce things that we don’t believe to be true of ourselves and the world around us. If I feel inferior to people with a certain social status for example, I will look for evidence in these people’s behaviors to justify my feelings of inferiority in their presence. I may misjudge their intentions and actions creating unnecessary pain for myself and others. This constant reinforcement of how I feel about myself and the world is done on a subconscious level and brought on by my observations meant to support my limiting beliefs.

How can a pattern be broken? Start noticing the things that you believe to be true of yourself and the world. When do you feel victimized or powerless for example.

When a pattern’s been identified, you can begin to notice when it shows up. By paying attention to the reality that you are observing, you’ll notice that there’s a story. What role are you playing? Are you a victim or a perpetrator? Once you recognize the role that you are playing in the story, you have the power to change the script.

You change the script by first becoming aware of when the pattern shows up, secondly by reminding yourself that your thoughts, beliefs and emotions do not define you and that it is therefore safe to release them. Lastly, you need to step into your power and from that place of empowerment notice how the story changes. The last step needs to be practiced before a trigger happens. It’s difficult if not impossible to step into your power when an event triggers the amygdala, and that you find yourself in fight or flight mode.

In order to effectively change a pattern you have to know what it feels like to be in your power. You can do this by revisiting an event that sent you in a state of reactivity. Then change the script by noticing what happens differently when you feel empowered.

In my opinion, from a place of true empowerment, you recognize your essence. The need to judge is replaced by acceptance and openness to new possibilities, ideas and points of views. People’s thoughts and feelings about you don’t define your sense of self.  You no longer feel the need to attach people to you through external gratification (e.g. looks, money, status, care-taking behavior etc.). Others are attracted to you because you’re coming from a place of love and acceptance instead of from a place of judgment, neediness, fear of abandonment, resentment, pain and suffering.

Patterns resonate with pain and need to be transcended if we’re ever going to live a life in line with our higher self. It takes time, persistence and guidance to recognize all the forms that they take. They are easy to recognize in others and difficult to identify in ourselves. They persist because on a subconscious level, we reinforce what we believe to be true of ourselves and the world around us.  Unless we make a conscious effort to work on developing our awareness of them, we’ll continue to fuel belief systems that generates pain for ourselves and others. The good news is that we all have the power to change the script and live a life in line with our higher self.

© Copyright. Resonance For Life Body/Mind Harmonization Center, 2014. All rights reserved. Unpublished. Anne-Marie Campanella, MA