For Stress, Anxiety and Depression
Reflection
As I move in and out of my limited ego mind identity I rediscover again and again the unlimited nature of my true being.
It’s the “contrast” between the vastness of who I am with the smallness of the ego mind identity which exposes the illusion. The false belief that I can be limited and therefore defined by others, circumstances and things is being exposed here. As a consequence the ego mind identity begins to lose its influence over my “experience” of who I am which is unbound.
I am free. I am free even during the times when I “feel, think or even perceive” that I am stuck, limited, or unworthy. My being knows this yet my ego mind continues to protest by introducing concepts, ideas and feelings that when believed in keep the illusion going.
The ego mind is not, has never been and will never be a threat to my true being. The clock is ticking for when it’s influence over my sense of being will cease completely and yet…in no time no space, in the vastness of my true being it is already done.
© Copyright. Resonance For Life Body/Mind Harmonization Center, 2021. All rights reserved. Unpublished. Anne-Marie Tremblay MA.
My Dog’s Way
Before adopting our dog Tully we were told, “Based on observations of play patterns with other puppies in the litter we can conclude that Tully is in fact a born leader.” We were warned that this little guy was going to be a handful who would most certainly attempt to rule the household every step of the way. We therefore knew that an extra dose of patience and dedication to training was going to be required to create harmony in the home and indeed it did and still does!
Tully was born with high energy, reactivity and sensitivity to everything in his environment and interestingly enough especially to people’s moods. If I’m feeling impatient and grumpy about something (unrelated to Tully) he’ll let out a growl. He not only mirrors emotional responses but will physically intervene if an interaction between two people doesn’t feel harmonious. He’ll place himself in between, growl and give kisses as if to say, “That’s enough and petty, cut it out!” In that moment we can’t help but laugh and follow his lead.
At certain times of the day when play and exercise is out of the way, Tully will lay down on my lap to rest peacefully. He’ll then roll over on his back with floppy ears extended to the side of his head to expose the part of his anatomy that he most likes rubbed: the belly. His demand for a belly rub is something that I always give into. The special bond that we share is most obviously felt during those times. I can only describe it as a feeling of bliss and complete release of tension. In those moments all mental restlessness gives way to peace and presence.
If I’m rubbing his belly but am also engaged with my cellphone or other distractions, Tully will wave his paws in the air to let me know that I’m not fully present with him and that I’m missing out on the bliss. So there again I give in. Interestingly enough, Tully instinctively knows about the importance of being in the moment to experience the special bond that exists between us. He constantly reminds me that in an instant of full presence negative thoughts and judgments vanish to reveal a natural joy of life. In his simplicity of being Tully guides me out of my head and into my heart where all is well. In his own special way this little dog with a big personality reminds me daily that all is well…
© Copyright. Resonance for Life Body/Mind Harmonization Center, 2019. All rights reserved. Unpublished. Anne-Marie Tremblay MA.
Could Your Dreams in Life Become Your Nightmare in Reality?
We all have dreams and aspirations of achieving or obtaining something of this world to improve upon who we are and our quality of life. Everyone aspires for something different such as a better career/achievement, home, health, finances, relationship, etc… On the positive side, in the process of moving closer to realizing those dreams and aspirations we discover our potential. We develop inner strengths and abilities that make us shine and in some cases inspire others. We then become leaders in our field. We receive the respect and admiration of people who in turn become motivated to pursue their dreams to shine their light on the world.
It is perfectly normal in life to want our dreams to become reality; to hope for better and more for ourselves, the ones we love and the world. As a result we focus our energy and attention towards what, “we think” will make us and others happy and fulfilled. What we think and believe which is based on our conditioning (our upbringing, culture, education, society, religious beliefs) becomes our own unique experience of the world; our own definition of what is needed and missing to experience a sense of fulfillment and contentment in life. Those mental concepts become guides that define our reality and potential for success. Where do I fit in? How do I compare to others? How can I improve? What’s missing? What should I do next? All those questions and more answered from mental concepts produce dreams and aspirations for a better life. Our sense of self-worth which arises out of conditioning and experience of the world then determines our potential for success in achieving those dreams.
As members of society, we often feel that some of us are clearly at a disadvantage in succeeding and achieving a sense of fulfillment in life. We perceive them to be lesser than and we judge them based on our mental definition of what, “a good or a successful person” should be and should aspire to become. We feel that some people (which can include ourselves) will never measure up to our and society’s definition of success. They are doomed to live a life of discontent or so they and/or we think. Then there are those who appear to have it all and to succeed in making their dreams come true with ease. They are, “living the dream!” or so it appears to be until the sense of satisfaction dissipates to leave room for the need for more and for the impression that, “something is still missing”. The sense of lack then creates new aspirations and dreams for hopes of fulfillment, happiness and contentment in the future. They live in the future, experience nostalgia or regret the past and miss out on what is present. Their dreams then start to feel like nightmares. The sense of presence where inner peace and joy resides eludes them. Although they may appear to have it all, they feel at a loss… So the excitement of the pursuit of the next and then the next dream and aspiration becomes their addiction.
What if instead of dreaming we could wake up to the truth of what we are by dropping all of our mental concepts and judgments? By letting go of the need to assess and evaluate where we fit in, how we compare, and what is missing and needed to experience fulfillment in life? What if we gave ourselves permission to simply just, “BE”? What if instead of aspiring for something out there we simply allowed ourselves to be inspired to do what comes naturally to each and every one of us? Wouldn’t it be nice to not have to live up to the image and mental concepts that we’ve been holding onto for so long?
Some would say that dropping every mental concept and judgment won’t pay their debt, improve their health or bring back their loved ones and I would agree. What will change is the meaning that we give to those things which will then transform our experience of the world and sense of self-worth. Every moment lived in presence is freedom. Nothing and no one out there can change, add or subtract from what we are at our core. Only the belief that it can will impact “our sense” of self-worth, but never our worthiness.
Some would say that without the pursuit of our dreams and aspirations we will live a mediocre, boring life and won’t contribute or bring any value to the world. I would start by saying that at our core outside of our mental concepts and conditioning, we are. What we aspire to become, we are not. It’s a future projection based on conditioning and on those mental concepts that fluctuate with time. When we drop our identification with them, meaning with the constantly changing idea we have of who we are; in other words, when we give ourselves the right to be, we allow the life source within to emerge. We no longer aspire to become somebody in this world in order to be worthy of the love that we already are. From presence, from the source of love within we instead become inspired. Unlike in the pursuit of our dreams, our actions don’t derive from a sense of lack, and desire for recognition, for more, and for love. As presence we experience the life force within which guides us into action when necessary but is never manipulated by mental concepts based on fear.
Some would say, “Well, you have to have a plan in life in order to succeed. You can’t just always wait for inspiration.”
I would say that the only real important plan in life is to awaken to the truth of what we are at our core which does not require a waiting period because it already is. By recognizing the most important treasure within we’ll no longer wonder, “Where do I fit in? What’s next? What’s missing? How can I contribute to the world?” Your presence itself will be your contribution to others and your actions deriving from unconditional love will break mental concepts and false ideas that people have about who they are. There’s no better gift to this world…
To finish I would like say that I am truly grateful and thankful for the wisdom of the true leaders of this world in particular Mooji, who teaches and reminds us of the importance of living as presence. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
© Copyright. Resonance For Life Body/Mind Harmonization Center, 2018. All rights reserved. Unpublished. Anne-Marie Tremblay MA.
The Lost Dog Who Brought Me Home
Last Sunday afternoon a lost dog showed up in the driveway to greet us with a wagging tail and cheerful demeanor. She was medium sized with black and white markings. Her gray facial hair indicated that she must have been around 10 years old. She appeared to be healthy and coming from a loving home. I thought to myself, “Her owners must be worried sick!” Since she wasn’t wearing a collar we called the ASPCA in the hopes of getting her reunited with her family.
As we were waiting for the ASPCA to show up, she voluntarily sat at my feet and allowed me to shower her with love and affection. The feelings were reciprocated. I thought how great and easy it is to be fully present with her. She was lost, yet she appeared to be at home. She was trusting and didn’t demonstrate any signs of fear or hesitation to be fully engaged with me in the moment. We didn’t have to put a leash on her to keep her from running off, she simply chose to be there.
I thought to myself, “Her home is in her heart and she’s letting me in. What a privilege!” Then I recognized that her home is also mine. There’s a space where there is no sense of separation, where time and place doesn’t exist. This sweet dog with her presence brought me there.
After about a half an hour of being with her we heard the owners calling her name, “Jennie!!!” Jennie voluntarily jumped in our car as if she knew that we were going to take her to them. She was then reunited with her loving family who expressed gratitude. That Sunday afternoon I recognized that it’s Jennie the lost dog who brought me home…in my heart where I need to be.
© Copyright. Resonance For Life Body/Mind Harmonization Center, 2017. All rights reserved. Unpublished. Anne-Marie Tremblay-Campanella MA.
Discovering Treasures: the Art of Compassion
How can we manage to keep our spirits up in the presence of people who feel broken and hopeless? Therapists who love their work have managed to develop certain internal attributes that allow them to feel hopeful in situations that feel hopeless. They’ve managed to acquire a profound level of compassion that we can all learn to develop simply by shifting our focus of attention.
Let me explain in simple terms how our lives can been transformed for the better in the presence of people who feel vulnerable, broken and hopeless. Most importantly we always have to keep in mind that their vulnerability is a gateway to the depth of their experience and we’re allowed in…what a privilege! As we enter we’ll witness the chaos created by false beliefs and past painful experiences that now defines their worthiness of love and ability to succeed. Let’s be mindful that we should always access their universe with one precise thing in mind: to find hope. With our heart connected to theirs (without judgment) we can begin to discover the treasure hidden behind the pain and false beliefs. That’s when hopelessness transforms into hope. If we look for it, we will find at the center of every person a treasure that is more beautiful than we could have even imagined. How exciting and rewarding it is to share this discovery! Yes we can find treasures in the most hopeless, broken and desperate people from all walks of life without exception. We’re then transformed by people’s lives and in turn they thank us, what more could we ask for.
© Copyright. Resonance For Life Body/Mind Harmonization Center, 2016. All rights reserved. Unpublished. Anne-Marie Tremblay-Campanella MA.
How to Access Your State of Empowerment in Challenging Times
The strategy discussed in this article is based on cognitive behavioral and humanistic theories of change.
Law of attraction
The law of attraction dictates that you attract what you focus on. In other words, you become a magnet for love, joy, freedom, etc., when your focus is on things that generate those positive feelings. When however, your focus is on fear, resentment, despair, etc…then undesirable outcomes ensue. According to the law of attraction in order to achieve peace, love and happiness, your focus should mostly be on these positive aspects of life.
It’s easy to focus on these aspects when good things are happening, but what about when tragedy strikes? Bad things happen to all of us (ex: money issues, death, illness, etc…). So, how then, is it possible to prevent fear, anger, and despair from taking over under those circumstances?
A seven point strategy meant to help you access your state of empowerment
Following this strategy will empower you to take ownership of your experience. In doing so, you’ll stop feeding into the destructive thinking process that leads to a sense of powerlessness. On a separate sheet of paper, write down your insights:
1- Describe the challenging situation and the emotions associated with it.
Before you can come to terms with a situation you have to understand it clearly. Taking the time to describe it will allow you to step back and gain a better perspective of how the events and the people involved affect how you feel about yourself.
Here are two examples:
-Mary’s story: “My boss’ condescending ways cause me to feel incompetent and ignorant. The more incompetent and ignorant I feel the more mistakes I make. The more mistakes I make the more he’s on my case. I now have doubts about my ability to succeed not only at work but in my field as a professional.”
-Paul’s story: “When I was a hardworking, physically active, energetic man, I felt powerful and in control. Due to an accident that left me paralyzed from the neck down, I now feel useless and vulnerable. Not being able to work, depending on others and not being a productive member of society make me feel worthless. I used to have goals and ambitions and now I’ve lost my life’s purpose.”
2- Describe how this experience affects your view of yourself as a person.
The meaning that you draw from the situation will dictate how you feel about yourself and how you experience life. For example, “flunking the test means that I’m a failure. If I’m a failure then I can’t succeed in life. If I can’t succeed then I might as well give up.”
In this case, the sense of failure will lead to missed opportunities which will then perpetuate the belief, “I’m a failure and therefore I’ll never succeed in life.” When you believe something to be true of yourself you subconsciously look for evidence in the world to confirm that reality for you. Negative beliefs lead to a sense of powerlessness and defeat whereas positive ones will lead to empowerment and success.
The question should therefore be, “how does this situation or person affect how you feel about yourself?” This will enable you to take ownership of your experience.
For example:
– Mary: “Because I feel stupid, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ll never have a successful career. I’m therefore a failure.”
– Paul: “Because I’m handicapped, I’ll never be a productive member of society and I’ll always be a burden to others. I’m worthless.”
3- Describe what you can and can’t change about this challenging situation.
By recognizing what you can and can’t control, you’ll know where to direct your energy in your attempts to implement change. When your focus is directed towards what you can’t control then the outcome is feelings of powerlessness and defeats which results in energy depletion (burnout). Whereas, when your focus is directed towards what you can control, then you generate feelings of empowerment which gives you the motivation and energy to pursue your goals.
– Mary’s situation: “I can’t change my boss’ character and communication skills but I can change how I perceive the situation and how I choose to interact with him to express my thoughts and ideas. I can also choose to find another job.”
– Paul’s situation: “I can’t change what happened to me, the fact that I’m paralyzed from the neck down and the fact that I have to depend on others. I can however change my negative attitude towards life by showing gratitude and appreciation, especially towards the people that care for me.”
4- In every challenge there’s a life lesson that can be learned which will allow you to grow into a wiser more empowered individual. What lesson can you learn from this experience?
In order to use a negative experience to our advantage we need to find the deeper meaning behind it. So, what lesson can you gain from this that will allow you to grow? Is it one of letting go, boundary setting, acceptance, forgiveness, compassion, gratitude, self-respect, etc…?
For example:
– Mary’s situation: “My lesson could be about self-respect and boundary setting. With a gain in self-respect, I would feel motivated to face the situation and would seek to find empowering solutions to the problem. I would then be able to set healthy boundaries for myself and others. Without self-respect, I would remain passive and in doing so would continue to fuel feelings of victimization.”
– Paul’s situation: “My lesson could be one of acceptance and gratitude for life and for the people that are involved in my care. With acceptance I could stop fueling a thought process that leads to despair and hopelessness such as, “why is this happening to me?” I could then begin to learn to be grateful for life’s little moments and for the care and compassion of others towards me.”
5- Describe the internal attributes that you need to acquire in order to feel more empowered.
For example do you need more patience, humility, resiliency, courage, faith, flexibility, openness, focus, determination, optimism, etc.? This will help you find what you need to work on to become empowered.
Rewrite your story and include the attributes that you’ve identified. Then notice how your new focus modifies your perspective of the challenging situation.
For example:
– Mary’s situation: “I’m learning that with forgiveness, humility and flexibility, I can welcome feedback from my boss about my work without feeling threatened and defeated. I can then adopt a collaborative attitude and be proactive instead of passive in my interactions with him. I now recognize that my boss’ condescending ways are a reflection of his poor communication skills -which has nothing to do with my skills as an employee. Although I still don’t appreciate the way he talks at me, I no longer take it personally.”
– Paul’s situation: “I’m learning that with resiliency, compassion and gratitude, I have a deeper appreciation for life and for the people that contribute to my wellbeing. I now recognize that my positive attitude brings hope and joy to those around me. I find humor in the simplest things and I have the ability to put a smile on people’s faces, especially when they’re having a bad day. I view this as my new contribution to the world. I now have a renewed joy for life and sense of purpose.”
The last two steps are about applying your insights and new focus to begin changing your life for the better.
6- With these new insights, you can now begin to implement changes in your life.
Keep in mind that it’s a lot easier to find logical solutions to problems than it is to change how you feel about yourself and the world around you. The good news is that by applying the knowledge acquired from this strategy to your life, you can stop fueling old patterns of victimization to instead nurture feelings of empowerment. That’s when your life will begins to change for the better. Keep a diary of your experiences and progress.
7- Seek help if you need to, especially if after doing step six you continue to feel powerless.
Use your diary entries as a bases for discussing your experiences with someone who’s unaffected by you situation. This is important because when your loved ones worry with you about your situation then their anxiety adds to your stress. Keep in mind that the best help always comes from someone who can remind you of your ability to overcome adversity in challenging times; if not a friend or family member then a therapist…
Although this strategy is meant to allow you to gain access to your state of empowerment in challenging times, it can be overwhelming to do on your own. For this reason, I offer one-on-one therapeutic consultation as well as Self-Empowerment group therapy.
Contact Anne-Marie Campanella, MA Web site: http://www.resonanceforlife.com © Copyright. Resonance for Life Body/Mind Harmonization Center, 2016. All rights reserved. Unpublished. Anne-Marie Campanella MA.
The Greater the Pain the Greater the Potential for Growth!
Do you feel down on your luck? Maybe you’ve reached your breaking point when it comes to a certain life situation. Things didn’t turn out the way you wanted or expected. You feel overwhelmed, weak and unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
When this happens it’s as if life all of a sudden forces us to carry a three hundred pound load on our back. We can’t help but wonder, “how am I going to find the strength to stand up on my own two feet and move forward?!” What we know thus far is that in the absence of the heavy load life has taught us to stand up with ease. Today however, life is challenging us to develop the internal attributes, the resources (ex: resiliency, courage, determination, faith, compassion, etc…), that will provide the power to rise up under those difficult circumstances. We may think to ourselves, “how am I going to do this? I don’t have the strength!” We may even think “It’s hopeless, I want to give up!” and “why me?!”
The truth is we don’t always know or understand why life all of a sudden forces us to carry such a heavy load (ex: an illness, a death, a financial crisis, a divorce, an accident, etc…). It may feel unfair and unjustified. However, if we’re ever going to find inner peace and joy again, we have to learn to stand up on our own two feet and rise up to the challenge whether we like it or not!
At that point, it’s our attitude and focus in the face of adversity that determines our potential for growth and success. If our focus is on our weaknesses then our attitude is one of defeat. We feel like powerless victims in the face of adversity. The load that was meant to provide resistance so that we can become stronger more compassionate individuals now weights us down to the point of collapse. On the other hand if our focus is on our abilities, then our attitude is one of empowerment. We can move forward knowing that despite our fears and weaknesses the load provides the resistance that allows us to build up deeper strengths. As a result we grow into wiser, more empowered and well-rounded individuals. We then become sources of hope and inspiration for the rest of the world.
“It’s easier said than done” you might say and I would agree. However just like when people go to the gym to hire a trainer to learn to lift weights properly and avoid injuries; we sometimes need to reach out to others in whom we can instill trust to help us in our personal growth journey. Remember that admitting that you can’t do it on your own is not a sign of weakness but one of wisdom…
So, let’s smile in the face of adversity because the greater the pain, the greater the potential for growth!
© Copyright. Resonance for Life Body/Mind Harmonization Center, 2016. All rights reserved. Unpublished. Anne-Marie Campanella MA.
Letter of Gratitude to my Bog, Beautiful Miss Pitchoo
Thank you Miss Pitchoo for having been my faithful companion for 12 beautiful years…
Your joyful spirit has touched my heart so profoundly…There’s no word to describe how you’ve transformed my life.
You are unlike any other living being that I have ever met…I feel privileged to have had you in my life. You were and still are a true blessing…
Because of you I’ve learned to love more deeply, be more present and more accepting of my imperfections and of myself. You brought out the best of me and I will keep that in mind when I feel down on myself.
I’ve been lucky to have been the recipient of your love, your forgiveness, your patience, you enthusiasm, your joyful spirit, your spontaneity, your peace…I couldn’t have asked for a better dog.
I’ll look forward to seeing you again in heaven where I know you are; dancing with other little angels just like you, free, healthy, happy at peace and beautiful.
Thank you for bringing light and love to this world and for touching people’s lives the way you’ve touched mine. Thank you for all that you are.
Miss Pitchoo I LOVE YOU! I MISS YOU! I’m with you wherever you are…
I look forward to holding you in my arms again and meanwhile I’ll hold you in my heart always…
LOVE
Anne-Marie your mama XO
© Copyright. Resonance for Life Body/Mind Harmonization Center, 2015. All rights reserved. Unpublished. Anne-Marie Campanella MA.
Lessons of Love From my Dying Dog
Pitchoo is a twelve year old mixed bread, 10 pound dog. She’s been my life companion for all of those years. Where I am is where she wants to be. She follows me around and anticipates the moments when I’m going to sit down. The second I sit, Pitchoo jumps on my lap and makes herself comfortable. She exhales once and closes her eyes. Her demeanor says “feel the love and peace”. Her peaceful state is contagious and in that moment she lets me know that “I am loved and all is well”. She reminds me to be present. She lives in the moment and embraces life to the fullest.
She has a heart condition and her days are numbered. She coughs, has trouble breathing, sometimes chokes on her food, passes out, can only go for short walks, yet…she appears to love life! On good like on bad days, she emanates peace and joy. Her spirit is unaffected by the disease. When she’s not feeling well, she lays on my chest instead of on my lap. In that position, I can feel her labored heart beating against mine. It’s as if her heart wants to let mine know that our time together in this life will come to an end. My heart responds with waves of love and appreciation for all that she is. I then think to myself “this may be the day that she leaves me for good and for God”.
The next day comes and Pitchoo wakes up like nothing happened. She’s energetic, plays with her toys and seeks to jump on my lap. She asks me once more to be present with her. To love, laugh and live life to the fullest; in that moment that’s what I do…
Pitchoo this little dog with a big personality has been and continues to be my teacher. My time spent with her teaches me how to access peace and joy through presence. She’s also the best example of resiliency one can find. She’s by my side now and tomorrow…she may not be. But the lessons learned will remain. In times of sorrow, my heart will recall the love song made by the soft pounding of hers beating next to mine…in that moment I’ll remember that I am loved.
© Copyright. Resonance for Life Body/Mind Harmonization Center, 2015. All rights reserved. Unpublished. Anne-Marie Campanella MA.
Worry Less; Care More
Most of us are accustomed to worrying about our loved ones. Whether it be about their health, education, financial situation, relationships etc. When we love, we worry. Is it possible to love and care without worrying? Here’s one good reason why you should stop worrying about your loved ones that will benefit both you and them.
Improve your relationships by fueling hope instead of hopelessness
Simply said, we worry because we care. It’s only natural to care about the physical and emotional wellbeing of the people that we love. However, when we’re not given the power to solve problems that pertains to them -we worry. We feel like powerless witnesses. Witnesses of what will become of our loved ones and of their situation. The truth is we worry in part because we lack faith. We lack faith in the ability of the person whom we care about to overcome adversity. As a result, we spend time and energy making up worst case scenarios. We think of reasons why the person may fail, get worst, get ruined, have a mental breakdown and so on. We engage in a thinking process that promotes feelings of fear and hopelessness for both us and the person that we care about. As a result our caring becomes careless.
For the majority of us, during tough times, we seek the support of people or a person that we feel safe confining in. So let me ask you the following question; how does it make you feel to know that this person has faith in your ability to overcome adversity? How does it feel to know that this person trusts that you have what it takes to come up on top no matter how challenging the circumstances are? How would you feel instead, if you knew that this person didn’t believe in your power to overcome life’s challenges? How would you feel if your closest confidant held in his or her heart the picture of a grim future for you and your situation?
When we offer support to people that we care about and that we spend too much time worrying (which means we lack faith), we add hopelessness to their situation. When we offer support by coming from a place of mostly faith instead of a place of fear -we offer hope. We become a soft place to fall on. We send the message that in the face uncertainty and difficulties, all is well. We remind them of the power that resides within them to overcome adversity. We do this by placing our focus on their strengths instead of on their short comings and weaknesses. In doing so, we empower our relationships. We learn to support each other from a place of hope and faith instead of a place of fear and hopelessness.
© Copyright. Resonance for Life Body/Mind Harmonization Center, 2015. All rights reserved. Unpublished. Anne-Marie Campanella MA.
I've been thinking.. . 